The planning of last year’s family holiday brought me to despair.
The New Year has barely begun when my husband Steven starts planning the upcoming summer holiday. The internet is surfed for hours, plenty of the latest holiday brochures are arriving at the house and Stephen is in heaven.
We are a family of three and our ideas of a happy family holiday could not be different. The only thing we can agree on is a warm holiday in the ‘sunny south.’
Our first task is to find the right accommodation. A hotel is not suitable for my 18 years old daughter Caroline, because breakfast is not served after 11am. A picturesque little cottage in the countryside? This is also a definite no, because spending time with your parents in the middle of nowhere when you are young does not appeal. There are no activities, sports or a night life.
Stephen is happy with a tennis court and a good tennis coach. I would love some time to myself and a golf course nearby.
After several family dramas, we came across this place in the South of France. At first sight this place was not my idea of bliss. More than ten thousand people would stay there during the high season. The good news was that there were more than 16 tennis courts with very good coaches. Stephan was happy. There was a little golf course with wonderful views over the mountains and the sea. I was happy. But most importantly there were five pools, a beautiful beach, several bars and pubs. Now guess who was happy?
We managed to book a cute semi-detached house with the most wonderful sea view. Caroline suddenly decided to bring a friend which made the family complete.
After an early morning tennis lesson, Stephen brought some fresh croissants home and we started the day with a lovely family breakfast. The girls enjoyed their day at the beach or lying by the pool. Stephen and I had a relaxing game of golf and I managed to find some time reading a book in our tiny but very enchanting garden. We all met up in the evening for diner and the girls then enjoyed some time in a bar where they met several other young people of their age, while we sat on the terrace and had some delicious French wine.
This was one of the most relaxing, peaceful and happy holidays we ever had!
Would we do the same thing again? Most definitely, if of course Caroline wants to spend another holiday with us. I bet she will, because after all it is the cheapest holiday she will have and everything she wants is on the door step.
Yes, you can have a happy holiday with teenagers. We definitely had.…
The planning of last year’s family holiday brought me to despair.
This advice is fairly simple. Do not accept controlling or unacceptable behaviour from anyone, especially your family. There’s an old saying that goes something like: “You can choose your friends, you get your family”. There’s a lot of truth in that.
Unfortunately, the subtext really means that family life is not all that it’s cracked up to be. Actually, I’ve heard that 85% of ALL families are considered dysfunctional, in one form or another. We have massively impossible expectations of a happy family life.
I blame it all on The Waltons, an 80’s TV show where every family dispute was resolved quite neatly within each 50 minute episode so that they could all say good night amicably (with the immortal words: “goodnight John boy”). Let me tell you. Life is not like that. Some parents are cruel. Some parents are abusers, in the worst possible sense of the word. Wives can use children as tactical chess pieces in a marriage. Husbands can be unfaithful. Children can hate their parents. It goes on. Life isn’t perfect.
Speak to most parents of teenagers and ask how their life is. You see, young blackbirds are genetically programmed to flee the nest. Teenagers are no different. They are marking out their territory.
Of course there are going to be clashes. Even without teenagers, there are bound to be clashes within any family (or a degree of subservience that is probably unhealthy). You see, it is just life. With friendships, they will naturally ebb and flow with the tides. Some will stand the test of time, others will fade into the sunset. Some friendships get created at a time for a purpose and then those friends are never seen again. That’s okay too. It’s just the ebb and flow of life. Just imagine if you had kept in touch with EVERY person that you had ever met. Right from kindergarten. It would be a pretty big list and you would have to start writing your Christmas cards (or equivalent) in January!
BUT, with family. It’s different. Those relationships, in one shape or form, get to last. Think of them as crows on the washing line of your life. They are going to be there. Whether in your face or at a distance. Whether on your side or not, they will be there. Displaying their feathers. Following the natural pecking order that gets formed in any family. So, that brings me to this important secret: I don’t care who they are. Father, mother, wife, husband, brother, sister, son, daughter (etc.), it doesn’t matter.
Do NOT accept controlling or unacceptable behaviour from ANYONE, especially your family. Just don’t put up with it. Stand your ground. Be YOU and who YOU want to be. You will find that by refusing to accept unacceptable behaviour, then you will naturally start to attract the other kind of behaviour and that is simply – amazing!…
Attempting to conceive a child should be a enjoyable experience in more ways than one. Unfortunately, there are issues that may arise when trying to get pregnant. There are many factors that can contribute to infertility issues and they are downright frustrating. Trying to become pregnant and not succeeding can not only make your frustrated, sad and lose hope, but it can also cause confusion and animosity within your current relationship. Couples trying to conceive without success experience static in the relationship during a time when you are trying to work together towards a common goal, building a family.
It is hard enough nowadays to maintain a healthy relationship, and when you have infertility issues pop up, it only makes things harder. When you tie that to the fact that every woman that has made up her mind to start family doesn’t need the stress of wondering whether or not she can have a baby on her mind. There is enough to worry about in life. You have probably tried the information on positions for conception and the different foods that you can eat.
Hopefully, you have not reached the decision to take fertility drugs; these can prove to be harmful, dangerous and pretty expensive.
There are some simple steps that you can take in order to conceive, and conceive quickly. It’s no wonder that this holistic approach has so many women flocking to this program. You can rid yourself of the headache and the issues that come along with not being able to get pregnant. There are steps that you can take right now to make your relationship a happy and healthy one.
Everyone wants to have a happy family and more importantly a happy baby. There are so many things that the doctors won’t tell you about getting pregnant from a holistic standpoint. It’s pretty scary how fast they are to prescribe a drug for anything nowadays. Please rests assure that there are some very simple steps that you can take towards getting pregnant and moving towards having a happy family.…
Most mothers when asked what’s the most unforgettable day in her lifetime was and they would immediately tell that it was the day her 1st baby is born. Such was the instance with me and my ma. Insane as it may look but we constantly make our mums do stuff for us prior like our laundry, fix up after us and thinking about it nowadays made me feel bad on how unthoughtful we were back in the day. Growing up observing my momma juggle several things simultaneously had me reckoning of never needing to become a mommy someday. I mean, who would wish to have a 24 hour job with no breaks, day-offs, holidays and worst, a delayed wage? And everyday you have to manage hard-headed youngsters and constant household chores.
But what is the real essence of being a mother?
What does it need to turn into a mommy? Are mothers really that special for them to have their own annual festivity? These are the queries that I did not want to be faced with.
Luckily, the good heavens above bent my fortune and turned the tides and finally had me cross to the other side of maternal phobia. Here are some of the greatest things I have learned during maternity.
I learned that the phrase “Its Okay, Mommys here” works like magic; That only one pretty face exists no matter what the circumstances are and mothers have it; When you hear the quote “Mother Knows Best” is equivalent to the phrase “I told you so” or you have to have your mom’s approval on everything specially your choice of women or men in your life.
Most of all, being a mom means being the sole light in the household when there is dark, a source of happiness when there is sadness, where hope comes from when there is hopelessness, the ultimate source of love. A bundle of emotions comes with motherhood that defies all known reason.
Being a mother means giving life to your kids, teach them things, let them know right from wrong, giving them freedom to live their lives but not living it for your children, not learning it for them, not deciding it for them but in the end be accountable for them.
Because being a mother is to support your children all the way even if they choose to take the road you dont want them to. Because being a mother is to always be there even if it hurts. Once can never cease to be a mother.
Courage. The main trait one has to exhibit in order to be called a real mother is courage. One other thing that makes most mothers special is their ability to take the place of all other people or in other words being in their shoes. And why are they so important to be remembered because they brought you into this world and even gave up theirs so you can be happy.
I know this because I have a very wonderful mom. Now that I am a mother my self, the best part of my life is in fact my children who values me and I will love them wholeheartedly forever.…
When there is a clear pattern of abusive behaviours in a closely connected group of people, then you will recognise there is domestic maltreatment. Family relationship, kinship, marriage, dating and friendship are instances of close family relationships. As discussed in the section below, domestic abuse has numerous kinds.
When someone resorts to kicking, beating, biting or throwing in order to contain another person he or she will be employing physical maltreatment against a person. A victim of physical abuse may suffer serious injuries, become disabled or die. Compared to other kinds of domestic violence, physical violence is easy to discover.
When force is used to compel someone to participate in some sexual act then that is classified as sexual maltreatment. This usually occurs to individuals who have particular exposures. Some good examples are such things as the influence of alcohol, pressure and disability. This type of ill-treatment is usually hard to recognise in families and marriages, because of special dependency aspects within the social systems of the human relationships.
Emotional violence or abuse is another type of domestic brutality which is sometimes so complicated to discover. Applying financial and economic dependency as a means of controlling a victim, is one of various ways which can be employed by an abusive person. Most victims will not speak out if they are threatened with the possibility of being humiliated or embarrassed in public, or isolated from friends and relatives. Blackmailing is a tool which is normally used to hold in the victim by applying threats of exposure of an embarrassing issue or by refusing access to financial resources.
Now, there are so many reasons why some individuals resort to domestic maltreatment.People are mainly influenced by psychological consequences such as individual manner in which families are integrated and the manner we are acted upon by the surroundings is likely to affect the way we treat others. For example, some people grow up in cultural settings which tolerate abusive behaviours towards women and children. This may also be regarded as the norm and normally society may choose to disregard abusive activities probably until this results into a fatality.
Maltreatment is caused by the use of alcohol and drugs in diverse circumstances. The usual conduct of a person is changed by drug utilisation and usually results in mental disorders which normally leads to brutality.
Sometimes the dominant determinants which push someone towards domestic brutality are the need to be authoritative and controlling all the time towards other family relationship members. Resorting to ill-treatment as a means of overcoming inadequacy is a possible reason some people who feel incomplete in some way or have low self-esteem usage. Socio-cultural and genetic influences are some of the complicated aspects affecting those individuals who like imposing their power on others.
Well, it is much better to prevent domestic assault than trying to find a solution to the problems created.Although very problematic, it is important to stand up against your abuser and speak out. Some individuals are of the impression that a solution will provide itself with time and therefore regards protecting the family image as more is probably better to speak to a close and trustworthy friend or relative and try to solve the issue without too much exposure. If the abuse is nasty or hazardous the best means is for the victim to report the matter to the police.…
Disaster preparation saves more than human lives. It also saves the lives of those other family members endowed with fur, feather or scale. The time to plan is now, before the danger is imminent. It is important that your pet has a current identification and/or rabies license tag attached to a collar. Should you and your pet become separated, these identification tags will help insure a quick reunion. Many Wal-Mart stores contain a metal tag printing machine that allows you to print a pet identification tag for under $5.00.
You will also need to have a way to properly transport your pet, be it in a carrier or crate. These should be large enough to allow your pet to stand and turn around. If considering to shelter your pet, most shelters are operating over capacity and your pet may have to remain in its carrier for long periods. Whereas dogs can be walked, cats cannot, so your cat carrier should be large enough to contain a litter box.
If you are planning on sheltering your pet it is absolutely necessary that your pet’s vaccinations are up-to-date as most boarding facilities will not accept your pet without them. Now is also the time to check with your local county emergency management office to verify if there will be a pet-friendly shelter in your area. Pet shelters fill up quickly on a first come, first serve basis. Call ahead of the storm and determine availability. Public shelters do not allow pets. However, the Red Cross does allow service animals for disabled persons.
Contact friends and relatives about the possibility of taking in your pet. Consider surveying boarding kennels or veterinarian clinics in different areas of your state to compile a list of those that would be a safe-haven for your pet during a disaster. If you still cannot locate a shelter in your area, you will need to consider taking your pet with you.
Taking your pet with you also comes with its own measure of preparation. Animals sense the heightened anxiety that you feel as well as the change in the natural elements or the nature of the emergency evolves. Be prepared to handle your pet’s anxiety with as much calm as you can muster. Be reassuring as you go about your evacuation plan. If you do not have family or friends to stay with, it is certain you will be looking for a pet-friendly hotel. A great place to start looking is online at Pet where you can find pet welcoming hotels and motels. Be sure to check for restrictions on size and number. Many times a “no pet” policy or restrictions are waived in an emergency. Exotic pets like parrots, ferrets, reptiles and fish are more sensitive to environmental changes and should really be placed with friends or a shelter outside the threatened area.
A quick checklist as you prepare to evacuate is essential to a smooth transition in exiting your home. Bring along your pets collar and identification, medications and updated photos in the event your pet gets lost. To ease your pets anxiety also bring along a familiar toy, the pet’s bed or blanket. You should include plastic bags and scoopers, cat litter, bird seed and food bowls with at least a two-week supply of water and food and a MANUAL can-opener. The aftermath of a disaster can leave an enormous amount of devastation and returning home may not be possible right away.
Horse and livestock owners are also encouraged to have an evacuation and shelter plan. It is a rule of thumb that trailing animals out of harms way should take place 72 hours if possible, so not to jeopardize the possibility of getting caught in evacuation traffic. A 1000 lb. horse should have 5 gallons of water and at least 20 lbs. of hay a day. It is best to take the time to acclimate your animal to the trailer it will be carried in to avoid having a frightened and unruly animal who could force you to leave it behind. You may need to rent a trailer or truck to haul your livestock. Take time now to reserve whatever you will be needing, chances of it being available when the danger is close is nil. Locating a facility out of harms way is very important. If you do not have friends or relatives to harbor you and your livestock, check with your local veterinarian for suggestions or even go to Craigslist online to look for potential shelters.
A crucial time to monitor your pet is after the emergency passes. Returning home is a time or re-orientation. Familiar scents and landmarks may be virtually changed and your pet may be confused with the new environment. It is a good idea to leash your dogs and …