After coaching several moms this week I felt the need to write this article. There are still too many people – both moms and dads, working too hard and having very little fun in their lives. Stress is huge for parents and they are finding that things in their personal lives are just piling up; they feel like, “How am I supposed to deal with all this AND be a good parent? I have no patience or energy left!”
Around 10 years ago I felt like I was falling apart. I was having amazing success with my students and their families, was receiving huge accolades from all of my administrators as well as school boards, and was hearing that parents were going to take their kids out of the school if their children wouldn’t be in Mrs. Kurt’s class. However, in the evenings and on weekends, I wasn’t experiencing this kind of success.
Most Friday nights, I would flop down on the sofa out of complete exhaustion and call out to my hubby to ask what type of take out we should order in. After eating I would either fall asleep leaving my husband to “enjoy” his Friday night alone or would end up arguing with him about something silly. On Saturdays, I would either break out in hives or my lips would swell up to triple their size. On a couple of occasions, the whole right side of my body went numb.
One night, my husband said, “This is enough! You have to figure out a way to change things and fix this.” Luckily, my personality is such that I always look for a solution to a problem.
I was fortunate that my husband put his foot down but in many families, both mom AND dad are stressed to the limit and are of little support to one another; they “just try and make do” and “get by”.
Today, I coach moms and dads on how to use my Life Circle™ Technique. This is the tool I developed for myself after my hubby put his foot down. It literally changed my life and in turn, my husband’s life. He saw such a difference in me that HE wanted to use the Life Circle™ too!
Although this tool can’t be taught in an article as short as this, some of the philosophies behind its success can be. Here’s how to start shifting yourself from burnout to bliss.
1. Slow down, stop taking things on because you think you “should”, just STOP! No more volunteering for things that you KNOW will stress you out or going to events that you KNOW you really don’t want to, or taking your kids to 3 or 4 after-school activities, just stop.
2. Be gentle on yourself – if you make your husband and child smile once a day, you’ve done your job
3. Ask for help – babysitting, cleaning, dinners
4. Get to bed! 10pm seems to be the ticket to having an evening and still getting enough rest.
5. Try no TV during the weekdays! You’ll be amazed at how you will fill up the time. Reading, talking to hubby over a glass of wine or cup of tea, organizing drawers, changing light bulbs… You won’t feel resentful because there is nothing else to do!
6. Play soothing or classical music in the house and burn calming aromatherapy oils such as lavender and peppermint.
When many stressful events occur at the same time, I’ve found that it’s a wake up call. If you constantly get sick or have things going wrong all the time, or often have unexpected situations arise, let that be your wake up call that, as my husband said, “Things need to change”. Start by applying the rules above and begin to see that life CAN be calm and blissful.
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