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Family Tips

Part 4 – Divorce Is Not Chess and Children Are Not Pawns

In my last article I wrote about the teamwork that is needed to make sure we don’t treat a broken relationship like chess and use children as pawns. We have the parents, the friends, family, new partners and sadly the children emotions all tied up in this horrible game of tug of war. Have you ever seen a real tug of war? It only ends up one way wherein one side is stronger than the other and the losing side usually ends up being dragged over a line that has been placed on the ground that they don’t want to go. The losing side then fall over and the game is over, stronger side wins. The other interesting part of a tug of war are the players on each team. The players have to really dig their feet into the ground to make sure they get a good strong hold of their position to make sure that the other team is always struggling for grip which makes the potential of losing even higher.
Now, do you see the similarities of tug of war and a couple who broke up?
Line drawn in the sand, feet dug in, make life as difficult as possible for those on the “other” side and in the middle we have the child or children watching this horrible back and forth and positioning.
Well what if the tug of war was a different game? What if on one side of the rope was all those involved in a relationship breakdown and what if the other side had as its team members all the nasty things that get involved those being, Bitterness, Anger, Rage, Pay back, Abuse, Denial, and the team captain BLAME. What if all those team members got dragged across a line and ended up in a big huge hole those got covered in dirt and was never seen again? Wow that would be prefect wouldn’t it? Am I dreaming is it possible? Could all sides totally cast away all ill feelings for each other and focus on the major goal? Is that goal being for the Children not to end up as pawns in a game of chess?
I believe it is possible and I have done it and so have many others and it comes back to what I closed my last article with. What we need to look at is TEAMWORK, but I will give you the heads up, it’s not going to be easy but nothing worth having is ever easy. The plan for teamwork will take eating a bit of humble pie, it will involve meeting and discussing situations and circumstances with people you have most likely vowed you would not spit on if they were on fire, but sorry better get that spit ready!
So how do we arrange the team, well the major players and usually the biggest enemies that being the Boy and Girl involved in the relationship, and that means you’re going to have to sit down and put all the other stuff aside that has nothing to do with the kids and work out a structured plan of how the role as “parents” will not only survive this trauma but prosper. Let me remind you I say the role as “Parents” as it’s totally separate from “Partner” and the game of chess is fueled by the inability to separate those two roles, so are we clear? NO choice or option on this if we want to move forward to TEAMWORK we have to bite the bullet on separation of roles, OK now I have your buy in on that we can move forward.
In your team meeting you have to look at every activity that normal parenting has as part of its role. That will be school, sport, family events, discipline, love, birthdays, doctor, dentist the list can be long but all of it is part and parcel of “Parents” not “parent” and once the list is complete there must be total agreement that both of you are responsible for all of it, yes there may be actions that are done by an individual but the planning, discussion and follow up is a PARENTS responsibility not a PARENT.
The next step of this meeting is to discuss what events would create the environment for a tug of war to begin? Let me help you out and remind you of the McDonalds access children change, if you think that will involve trauma both of you better eat some humble and stick to easiest of Changing station that being HOME. OK so he left you or she left you well sorry get over it, the house may have bad memories with the partner but to kids its home so get sued to picking them up and roping …

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Family Tips

Successful Parenting: Tips To Help You Find Your Way

When anyone becomes a parent for the first time, it is an awesome feeling. There is a beautiful little baby who will depend on both parents for every need. It is a wonderful experience to watch this child grow and become a special and unique individual. You can learn some great parenting tips in this article, so that you can be the best parent possible.

Make time to play with your children every single day. Playtime helps get you and your children moving, which benefits your health. Playing also encourages creativity, social interaction, imagination, and good self-esteem. Active play is better than passive, so take your kids to the park or even just the yard and let loose your inner child.

It is important that you recognize the signs that your child is ready to start using the toilet. By pushing them to use it when they are not ready, you can actually delay the whole process. Some signs of readiness include having regular bowel movements, staying dry for at least two consecutive hours, and coming out and asking to use the potty.

Make sure to wait at least 3 to 4 weeks before introducing a baby to the bottle. Doing so earlier can confuse the baby and it will reduce your milk supply for breastfeeding. Women’s bodies produce milk based on the demand. So, the more often that you supplement with a bottle, the less milk you will produce.

Close Family

As a parent one should make sure to set time aside specifically for the family. This is important for maintaining a happy and close family, because with our busy lives it is easy to let other outside activities such as sports and work get in the way.

Good Relationship

As unfortunate an event it may be, divorces happen all of the time. In order for you, a divorced parent, to hold a good relationship with your college aged and older children you must never get them in the middle of your divorce. This will push them away for you and your ex-spouse.

Mom And Baby

Look into slings and baby carriers designed for twins. They do exist, and they are fabulous. There is a learning curve for getting two babies into a carrier, but the benefits to mom and baby are enormous. Wearing your babies will allow you to get things done with your hands free, and the twins get the emotional connection and intellectual stimulation from being right with you.

There is no instruction book for new parents, but you can read as much as you can on the subject of parenting, so that you can give your child the best chance of happiness and security. Whether there are two parents or one, by learning, you can be a great parent. There are so many single parents today and they must somehow find a way to make up the difference to their children. Most times, the parent is working and has little extra time for their children. In spite of the difficulties, many single parents do an amazing job of raising their children.…

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Family Tips

Information Any Pregnant Woman Would Find Useful

While the impending birth of a new child fills people with joy, it can also give them feelings of fear and uncertainty. There are a few tips, however, that can make a huge difference during a pregnancy. By keeping them in mind, you can make sure your pregnancy goes as smoothly as possible.

Start taking a prenatal vitamin while you are trying to conceive, or as soon as you first find out about that surprise pregnancy. There are special nutrients that are needed by your baby for proper development. The sooner you start taking prenatal vitamins, the better chance your baby has of getting the nutrients he or she needs.

You should start taking a prenatal vitamin now. Taking a prenatal vitamin is great for your health. Prenatal vitamins can also help you conceive a baby. They are great for many different reasons and your doctor can help you find out which one is the best while trying to conceive.

For first time mothers, babysit for a family member or friend. It never hurts to learn more about how to care of a baby before yours is brought into the world. In addition of learning how to care for a baby, you will know how to properly hold and feed yours.

Keep your water intake to six to eight full glasses of water a day. Try keeping a large water bottle with you at all times and fill it up when it empties. As we know, water is incredibly important to keeping our bodies healthy and it becomes even more important when we are drinking for two.

Do not skip your prenatal appointments. Every appointment that you have is a chance for your doctor or midwife to identify any issues while it is early enough to do something about it. Make your appointments your highest priority and do not allow anything to make you skip them.

The Surgeon General warns against drinking while pregnant, so refrain from any type of drinking during pregnancy. Drinking alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome, which can be detrimental to your child for the rest of their life.

Baby-Sitting

It is important to learn how to take care of a newborn. Baby-sitting other people’s toddlers and newborns is a great way to learn this experience. Caring for other people’s newborns not only helps make some money on the side, but also gives you the life skills you need to take care of your own child.

Mom And Baby

Exercising in pregnancy is good for mom and baby. The benefits include decreased risk for gestational diabetes, less complaints of constipation and back pain and a quicker recovery from birth for mom. Stop exercising and see your doctor if you have signs, such as shortness of breath, dizziness, fluid leaking, uterine contractions or vaginal bleeding.

Everyone has some fears when it comes to pregnancy. For nine months, your body and emotions are drastically different than any other time in your life. It can be difficult to know what to do and how to act. By listening to the tips given here, though, you can ensure that your pregnancy goes well.…