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Family Tips

A Few Tips For The First Time Home Buyer

If it is finally time to think about buying your own home, get some tips for the first time home buyer. You will want to look for certain things to make sure you are getting not only the best quality for your money but also as close to your dream house as possible.
The size of the house is an important thing to consider. It is best to decide according to the size of the family, or the expected size of a future family. Decide whether or not a future family will happen soon or in the distant future. It may be time to purchase a starter home.
If you are already a parent and the family is steadily growing, larger homes should be preferred, if possible. Be sure to look around the neighborhood of any chosen location to see what the atmosphere is like.
A neighborhood full of young children may be just what you are looking for. It will provide friendship for the children and extra security from other careful, watchful parents in the area.
If you are a single person who likes the quiet, consider a smaller residence in a more secluded neighborhood. It does no good to buy a home where there are only families. Doing a background check on the crime aspect is always suggested. Decide how many bedrooms you will want, how many baths, whether or not you want a basement or an attic, neither or both. There are more options, as far as dens, kitchens and living areas. How big the yard is would be yet another consideration. Ask yourself if a condominium might be more your style.
Remember that once a place is chosen, it may take some time before it can be occupied. The whole process should not be done quickly. As a home that you plan to stay in for the rest of your life, you should consider the permanency of the decision and weigh all options and opportunities that are available to you before signing any papers.
Be sure to consider interest rates, taxes and insurance on the residence. These are very important. If you are going through a real estate agent, they will be able to inform you and choose homes to show you that follow your specific guidelines. They will be able to suggest many different options and let you decide what is best for you.
Take notes on what you see when your agent is showing you through some of the homes he or she has chosen for you. This will help you remember what was good and what was bad and will remind you of questions to ask in future showings. A camera is a good idea. This will also help when trying to remember the features of certain homes that you have been in. It is a good idea to visit at least twenty houses to get a good idea of what is available on the market, what locations seem best and what size is most appropriate for your situation.…

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Family Tips

Don’t Nag: Nurture To Develop Independence

HOW TO CREATE A DEPENDENT CHILD!

I believe I can best explain this through an example. I recently had two families in my office, both struggling with twelve and thirteen year old children who appeared sad and withdrawn. In order to get them out of bed, parents were engaged in an hour long process of repeatedly nagging and pushing and prodding, ultimately leading to yelling and threatening the children. Often, parents were taking the children to school after they missed the bus.

Homework routines were even more depressing. Historically, these parents had reminded their children to get their homework done. When struggling, the parents would sit down, and spend hours with the children working through homework difficulties. Whenever the children would ask any question, the parent would sit down and then walk the child through finding an answer.

The mistake: Most parents believe that children will ?get it? at some point and start to do these things on their own.

The facts: Children don?t ?get it.? Parents must take a leadership role by modeling and demonstrating healthy behavior.

So if you want to create a dependent child who is ill prepared for the independence that comes with their teenage years, simply keep pushing and prodding, and keep nagging them to get their homework done and to get out of bed. As they get older, you?ll find that you are working harder and harder and they have become more and more difficult and dependent upon your efforts.

A good rule of thumb is this: If you find that you are working harder than they are for their success, then you are heading down the wrong path! Guaranteed!

DO YOU NURTURE INDEPENDENT CHILREN?

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You probably have a strong suspicion based upon the foregoing discussion. Yet there are five principles that you can apply to dramatically impact this process.

Principle 1: Have faith!

That?s right. The most important principle is to have faith in your child, and to have faith in the natural ability for children to learn from the consequences of their actions. Children are not stupid, and yet we often treat them that way, by repeatedly making the same request over and over.

If you have to repeat your request five and ten times, the problem is not a learning problem, the problem is a parenting problem. Children are simply not stupid.

Teaching kids that they need us to get through daily activities is like teaching them that they are handicapped in some learn to believe that they can?t do it on their own. Regardless of how many times you say it, they will not grow to believe you allow them to grow more dependent upon you as a parent.

So the first step is to have faith in your child?s ability to learn, and to allow them to have the opportunity to learn key life lessons on their own.

Principle 2: Your words rarely teach. Consequences teach.

Let?s think about this in a very simple way. If your words were effective at teaching children to get out of bed, then you wouldn?t have to yell and scream. You wouldn?t have to ask ten times. You wouldn?t have to end up doing this over and over.

Plan and simple: Your words won?t teach until the consequences reach their world.

And yet there?s an important caveat to remember here. With the right use of choices and consequences, your words begin to play a HUGE role in teaching. It?s just simply that you can?t teach a child to hit a baseball without getting on the field and learning from their mistakes. With that learning however, then the proper coaching can make a tremendous difference. Make sense??

So how do you use this principle? You use this principle by making certain that there is some form of consequence that is present with your request.

This discussion needs more detail, and yet the key concept here is simple and straightforward. Let the consequences teach, not your words.

Principle 3: Work then play! Everyday!

For those of you who read the homework newsletter series, I reviewed this concept in detail. The basic notion is this. Set your child?s world up in a manner that they must first get their work done (i.e., homework and responsibilities) and then they can play (i.e., have TV, video, computer, telephone, access to friends, soccer practice, movies, games with Mom and Dad, etc.).

In other words, simply set up a world where your child is not allowed to have access to all of the wonderful goodies you provide for them, until their ?work? is completed. Do this everyday, including Saturday and Sunday mornings. Just make it a fact of life. We do our work, and then we play.

Why is this so important? It?s important for two reasons. First, it …

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Family Tips

The Broadband Internet – Can It Affect Your Family?

Can we accuse broadband for making a happy family becoming happy individuals? To a great extent YES!
This is a story of a happy family that got torn to a mistress called Broadband!
With dial-up network, every moment at home was peaceful. Since mails came slow and went slow, the husband had time for his family. He could easily have a cup of tea in the time his internet got connected. By the time he would sit for work…would be the next relief…i.e…another disconnection! Then, it would be time to play one round of game with kids. Thus, the man of the house had time for every enjoyment at home. Many a times, due to the poor connectivity, he would prefer to switch off the computer and go out to shop with family. This was the story of the happy family.
Today this loving family has been shredded – shredded as man, woman, boy (son) and girl (daughter). With the broadband revolution every home tasted the flavor called broadband. As expected, it charmed all with its speedy connectivity sans disconnection.
The husband, who could play a game and take wife out for shopping, preferred to finish his work on his laptop. With easy data access and transfer, he couldn’t ask for more. Wife chose to check recipes online and catch up with the latest and chat with friends. The kids had their own studies and social networking, and games to play. When tired, each watched their own moves or listened to music on their hi-fi Wi-Fi mobile phones or computers. Shopping too began happening online!! No family shopping, but individual online shopping became the new trend, thanks to broadband!
Broadband connection, made life not just easy, but in a way, its multifaceted convenience made individuals move at an unimaginable faster pace.…

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Family Tips

Pack Lunch Boxes to Build a Healthy, Happy Family

Get the basics right. Plan it right. Skip the sweets and chips isle entirely while shopping. If it is not in the cupboard, it cannot make its way into their lunch boxes. Resist the easy option of packing chocolates, chips and canned fizzy drinks.
The actual lunch box is almost as important as what is in it, you cannot expect your child to eat squashed sandwiches and bruised fruit. Rather invest in a big sturdy plastic lunchbox. Think of quality and no the price when buying these.
Do not forget the liquids. Avoid energy juices and sodas. Rather opt for water or diluted pure fruit juices. In summer, prepare the drinks the night before and place in the freezer without the lid. The following morning remove the drinks from the freezer, replace the lid and wrap it in a tea towel to prevent the condensation of water to prevent the condensed water from making a mess on the school books.
What to pack when trying to include food from all the food groups. And also remember to pack enough food to last the whole day.
Complex carbohydrates.
Opt for whole wheat or log GI bread for your child’s sandwiches. Instead of just sliced bread, vary it with rolls that are perfect for hotdogs. Pita breads are also a fun option and the filling ideas and choices you have are endless. For a healthy snack, include a small bag of air popped popcorn. This you can pop the night before and just keep it in a re-sealable bag.
Fruits
The options with fruits are endless, you can only be limited by your imagination. Bananas have always been a firm favorite, and they also come with their own packaging. Some other easy to eat options include grapes, nectarines, apples and pears. If you cannot get fresh fruit for whatever reason, keep a few packets of dried fruit in the cupboard. Dried mangos and guavas are very tasty and they are quick to eat.
Vegetables.
Veggies are a little bit trickier. These are also usually kept for dinner time, but with a bit of imagination on your side you can get a few servings into their lunch boxes. Add tomato and cucumber to sandwiches, or grate carrots into a bran muffin mixture. If your child enjoys veggies, then simply chop up some carrots into fingers and pop them into the lunchbox with some cherry tomatoes and maybe a bit of cottage cheese for a dip.
Protein and Milk
Yogurt is always a winner. Although the individual tubs can be a bit pricey. Buy the one liter tub and decant into smaller containers, just remember the spoon. A plastic spoon is best as it can be thrown away or lost without worry. Sandwich fillings are a great way of getting in your protein serves. Chicken and cheese, or ham and tomato are tasty options. To get in a mils serve, make a yogurt smoothie by mixing mils and yogurt. Just place this in a suitable juice bottle and let freeze overnight.
Fat
Peanut butter and jam sandwiches are always a hit with children. Just check with the school if they are allowed. Some schools are restricting foods that contains peanuts, because of the large amount of children with peanut allergies. For the more experimental eaters, do an avocado on a sandwich with a bit of chicken and lettuce. Sandwich spread is another option that children enjoy.
Use these great tips to pack healthy lunch boxes in order to build a healthy happy family.…

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Family Tips

Family Massage

Did you know if you massage your family members and they return the favor, your family can become a very happy family? Studies have shown families that massage one another are far more likely to have close relationships with each other.
Sharing is caring too. But the problem is, you might not know how to go about it. For example, your family member might not want to remain still when you are trying to massage them. Likewise, it is also difficult to get your brother or sister to massage you. Everyone has their own privacy, their own space and their own things to do. But you are the only one that is into this whole massage thing. What can you do about it? How can you convince everyone to jump into the massage boat with you?
Here’s the magic steps you can take to convert them into masseurs and masseuses.
Give a foot massage to the member who always seems to be watching the television on the couch.
If you are a parent, give your children a nice massage after they finish their homework.
If your wife cooks a good dinner, give her a good back rub after everyone has eaten.
Go slow at first and massage them while they are fully clothed. You don’t have to force them to be naked and lie on the bed if you want to massage them!
If they don’t want the massage, respect their decision even though they clearly need one. But do point out to them the cause of the pain and where to apply pressure on their bodies to solve the problem.
What if someone finally agrees to your massage? Then you should always start with a gentle and soft stroke. You can always go harder the next time around.
You must be the one who are willing to offer the massage first. Don’t expect them to convince themselves by instructing them to massage you at first!
Remember, you must be the giver. There can be no other ways.…

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Family Tips

Part 4 – Divorce Is Not Chess and Children Are Not Pawns

In my last article I wrote about the teamwork that is needed to make sure we don’t treat a broken relationship like chess and use children as pawns. We have the parents, the friends, family, new partners and sadly the children emotions all tied up in this horrible game of tug of war. Have you ever seen a real tug of war? It only ends up one way wherein one side is stronger than the other and the losing side usually ends up being dragged over a line that has been placed on the ground that they don’t want to go. The losing side then fall over and the game is over, stronger side wins. The other interesting part of a tug of war are the players on each team. The players have to really dig their feet into the ground to make sure they get a good strong hold of their position to make sure that the other team is always struggling for grip which makes the potential of losing even higher.
Now, do you see the similarities of tug of war and a couple who broke up?
Line drawn in the sand, feet dug in, make life as difficult as possible for those on the “other” side and in the middle we have the child or children watching this horrible back and forth and positioning.
Well what if the tug of war was a different game? What if on one side of the rope was all those involved in a relationship breakdown and what if the other side had as its team members all the nasty things that get involved those being, Bitterness, Anger, Rage, Pay back, Abuse, Denial, and the team captain BLAME. What if all those team members got dragged across a line and ended up in a big huge hole those got covered in dirt and was never seen again? Wow that would be prefect wouldn’t it? Am I dreaming is it possible? Could all sides totally cast away all ill feelings for each other and focus on the major goal? Is that goal being for the Children not to end up as pawns in a game of chess?
I believe it is possible and I have done it and so have many others and it comes back to what I closed my last article with. What we need to look at is TEAMWORK, but I will give you the heads up, it’s not going to be easy but nothing worth having is ever easy. The plan for teamwork will take eating a bit of humble pie, it will involve meeting and discussing situations and circumstances with people you have most likely vowed you would not spit on if they were on fire, but sorry better get that spit ready!
So how do we arrange the team, well the major players and usually the biggest enemies that being the Boy and Girl involved in the relationship, and that means you’re going to have to sit down and put all the other stuff aside that has nothing to do with the kids and work out a structured plan of how the role as “parents” will not only survive this trauma but prosper. Let me remind you I say the role as “Parents” as it’s totally separate from “Partner” and the game of chess is fueled by the inability to separate those two roles, so are we clear? NO choice or option on this if we want to move forward to TEAMWORK we have to bite the bullet on separation of roles, OK now I have your buy in on that we can move forward.
In your team meeting you have to look at every activity that normal parenting has as part of its role. That will be school, sport, family events, discipline, love, birthdays, doctor, dentist the list can be long but all of it is part and parcel of “Parents” not “parent” and once the list is complete there must be total agreement that both of you are responsible for all of it, yes there may be actions that are done by an individual but the planning, discussion and follow up is a PARENTS responsibility not a PARENT.
The next step of this meeting is to discuss what events would create the environment for a tug of war to begin? Let me help you out and remind you of the McDonalds access children change, if you think that will involve trauma both of you better eat some humble and stick to easiest of Changing station that being HOME. OK so he left you or she left you well sorry get over it, the house may have bad memories with the partner but to kids its home so get sued to picking them up and roping …

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Family Tips

Successful Parenting: Tips To Help You Find Your Way

When anyone becomes a parent for the first time, it is an awesome feeling. There is a beautiful little baby who will depend on both parents for every need. It is a wonderful experience to watch this child grow and become a special and unique individual. You can learn some great parenting tips in this article, so that you can be the best parent possible.

Make time to play with your children every single day. Playtime helps get you and your children moving, which benefits your health. Playing also encourages creativity, social interaction, imagination, and good self-esteem. Active play is better than passive, so take your kids to the park or even just the yard and let loose your inner child.

It is important that you recognize the signs that your child is ready to start using the toilet. By pushing them to use it when they are not ready, you can actually delay the whole process. Some signs of readiness include having regular bowel movements, staying dry for at least two consecutive hours, and coming out and asking to use the potty.

Make sure to wait at least 3 to 4 weeks before introducing a baby to the bottle. Doing so earlier can confuse the baby and it will reduce your milk supply for breastfeeding. Women’s bodies produce milk based on the demand. So, the more often that you supplement with a bottle, the less milk you will produce.

Close Family

As a parent one should make sure to set time aside specifically for the family. This is important for maintaining a happy and close family, because with our busy lives it is easy to let other outside activities such as sports and work get in the way.

Good Relationship

As unfortunate an event it may be, divorces happen all of the time. In order for you, a divorced parent, to hold a good relationship with your college aged and older children you must never get them in the middle of your divorce. This will push them away for you and your ex-spouse.

Mom And Baby

Look into slings and baby carriers designed for twins. They do exist, and they are fabulous. There is a learning curve for getting two babies into a carrier, but the benefits to mom and baby are enormous. Wearing your babies will allow you to get things done with your hands free, and the twins get the emotional connection and intellectual stimulation from being right with you.

There is no instruction book for new parents, but you can read as much as you can on the subject of parenting, so that you can give your child the best chance of happiness and security. Whether there are two parents or one, by learning, you can be a great parent. There are so many single parents today and they must somehow find a way to make up the difference to their children. Most times, the parent is working and has little extra time for their children. In spite of the difficulties, many single parents do an amazing job of raising their children.…