No Picture
General Article

Lesson Learned: No Matter How Old, the Process Doesn’t Stop

Lesson Learned: No Matter How Old, the Process Doesn’t Stop

OK class, today’s assignment is to create the most annoying place ever; ready?

Let’s begin by populating it with lots of tired, irritable inhabitants confined to a cramped area with hardly any places to rest and absolutely no spot to get comfortable. Many of these folks will wear too much perfume or, better yet, haven’t seen the working end of a shower in days. Of course, the whole environment has to be far from home, and – oh yes – let’s make it extremely loud.

Now, let’s spruce up the annoyance factor by tossing in some arcane commands.

Rule one: You are only allowed to have in your ownership one container of essential items; but the consequences for possessing those is that is you must drag them behind you wherever you go; a ball and chain.

Rule Two: Not for a minute can you let them leave your custody. If you want to add more items, you can purchase from a very limited supply of things that will be far more costly than they should be, and you must stand in long lines to obtain them (don’t forget, you must have your container always in tow).

Rule Three: Nosy, ill-mannered, discourteous natives will handle and interrogate you at will, sporadically rummage through your package of personal belongings, and time after time subject you to yet additional seemingly useless rules which may change at any time.

I think we’re done. What shall we call it? Dante’s Inferno? Hell? How about, “An Airport?”

Traveling has a knack to make anybody cranky; so, I had empathy for the nine-year-old with the pink suitcase waiting in the petrified line to board the jet. Her dad, bent close to her, staring unflinchingly into her eyes, was wagging his finger for emphasis and scolding her sotto voce. “We don’t push people out of the way. We wait our turn, do you understand?”

Her eyes drilling into the floor of the gateway, an angry expression contorting her face, she rocked defiantly from side-to-side, holding steadfast, “He’s not ‘people;’ he’s my little brother! And he’s slow! I want to get on the airplane all ready! I’m tired!”

“I understand,” replied her father, “We’re all frustrated. But that doesn’t excuse pushing. Are we clear?”

“I want to get on the airplane!” She stomped her foot for emphasis and crossed her arms across her chest.

“We will go on the airplane when you apologize to Robbie. Tell him you’re sorry.”

Begrudgingly realizing she had no choice and finally accepting the parameters, she faced her sibling, mumbled something, then looked back at Dad.

“Very good,” he said; hugged her, rose to his full height and took her by the hand as the family proceeded forward. She had learned her lesson, her reward being that she now able to proceed to her objective.

As I watched the drama, it dawned on me that this process does not end when we move away from our parents. It is a sequence that presents itself continually: Frustration. Lesson. Acceptance. Progress. Repeat cycle as necessary until learned.

The only difference between those of us with single-digit ages and smooth skin, and those of us with a few years under our belts and a road map of wrinkles, is that we aren’t always fortunate enough to have someone explain the guidelines so clearly.…

No Picture
General Article

Childhood Obesity Prevention – Are You Going to Do Something About This? How to Start

Childhood Obesity Prevention – Are You Going to Do Something About This? How to Start

Children are our future. Yeah, yeah you have all heard it before, right? Well, why are all our kids getting fat? How and when can you do something about it? Yes you, I am talking to you! Reports are out and the findings aren’t pretty. Childhood Obesity is a world wide problem. What are you going to do about it?

Childhood obesity prevention- Are you going to do something about this? How to start.

Education is where it needs to begin.

Setting an example right now, that is the way to take action.

Spreading the word about change needs to occur in every city, state, country, region, province, church, school or any other public assembly.

The #1 priority needs to be education.

You need to sit down with your children and say that you are sorry you let them all get fat and that you are assuming the blame.

Now things need to change if you are going to survive this terrible epidemic.

Ask all your family for their commitment to help you bring about this change.

Tell them to write their ideas on how they can help you put a plan together and show them that you are serious and that you have information that will change their lives forever.

Be positive and assertive. This is a life and death situation.

Priority #2 is to set and example.

Show them you mean business by changing or eliminating any food or beverage product that you know is helping you all stay fat. Commit to it, right now, in front of them and never lose control of your attitude to force change. Your example, is what got them here, and only your example is going to impress the need to change, more than your resolution to make things right.

Setting the example from this day forward. You do need help and the answers are all around you. You will need to show them that you are willing to put the time and effort to get the answers to all your questions about food, health, exercise that they need.

Make a drastic change in your timetable to be available more. You have been out of touch with them for too long. Quit your job, if you have to, and find a way to make all the adjustments you need. Your family is the most important part of your life, right?

Priority #3 is to spread the word.

Starting today, you all have to commit that you are sick and tired of this weight thing and that you are going to kick it in the butt.

Tell your kids that they need to fell empowered by this new purpose to get healthy. Ask them to be proud of what they are doing and that will give them a purpose.

Spread the word to co-workers about what you have started and start telling others to do the same.

Contact your local newspaper and tell them you have a story to tell. Your story will inspire others to do the same and your family will be proud of what you are doing. The purpose here is to get the commitment from everyone.

Just a final word, get moving, what are you waiting for?

Food for thought – Can you do this? Yes.…

No Picture
General Article

To Understand Or to Memorize?

To Understand Or to Memorize?

To reduce the need of memorizing a bunch of seemingly arbitrary facts, you should understand how something can work. Memory is a fundamental tool for human learning. It is encouraged for children to develop their skills to memorize even during their toddler years. However, true learning is not only memorized and expresses their ideas with memorization; they should demonstrate the ability to refine their ideas through communication with others.

If you memorize something, you are bound to forget, but if you truly understand something, you will take it to the grave and remember forever. Understanding is alike memory in that you can rehearse the information. However with understanding, you know the information in a way that allows us to use it in different ways. The simplest example is where you have memorized a shape and can see it in your mind, and that’s it. With understanding that shape, you are able to rotate it in your mind and see it from different angles. This is really what separates you from understanding and memorization. You can apply ideas to real life situations or case studies if you truly understand.

Memorization is difficult to apply ideas in real-life situations or case studies. Ideas are just as essential to the learning process as are facts. Ideas are important because they represent how different people observe the world.

And that’s where understanding comes in. If you manage to understand a topic, you can still reconstruct it if you are missing some details. However with memorizing, if you lose some details, you lose everything. If you strive to understand, you can solve problems even when numbers or components are changed.

Memorization is not a pure educational philosophy. Memorization should be applied in such a way as to exclude or trump the teaching of understanding. Both working together are key components to building knowledge. The bottom-line, as I see it, is that memorized knowledge can or likely should be part of your foundation or basic. But, it will only get you to not so far. It’s the ability to really understand something and how it works that will help you solve issues that just aren’t solvable with memorized facts alone.…

No Picture
General Article

3 Ways to Combat Against Childhood Obesity

3 Ways to Combat Against Childhood Obesity

When I think back to my childhood, I realize that the lack of technology allowed me to grow up at a healthy weight. The school didn’t have any computers until my senior year, and even then all it could do is play blackjack. If we were lucky, we had three channels, and we grew most of what we ate.

That meant that we got a lot more exercise (though we called it “play”), ate a lot of vegetables and didn’t spend a lot of time staring at a screen. If you look at the way we live today, is it any wonder there is a problem with childhood obesity? However, with a little help, it can be prevented and the kids can get to a healthy weight.

1) Educate: First, educate yourself. Find out what you need to do to help your child. You’ll need to study nutrition, how much exercise your child needs on a daily basis. You may want to find out if there are any organized sports in your area that would interest your children. One of your best resources in educating yourself is your child’s pediatrician. He or she can also help you understand what your child’s ideal weight would be for his/her age and body structure.

Once you’ve educated yourself, it’s time to educate the kids. You don’t have to do it in a boring way, if you can make it fun and interesting, you’ll get much better cooperation. Take the kids with you to the supermarket and let them help you pick out fruits and vegetables they actually like. Explain to them that exercise is important, but it doesn’t have to be boring. Also, remember that vigorous play is still exercise.

2) Encourage: If your child is already overweight, he or she is going to need a lot of encouragement. Not only will the child have a poor body image, he or she is likely to be the constant target of schoolyard (and schoolroom) bullying. It’ll take a lot of encouragement to help your child overcome these obstacles, but it is very important. These two problems feed on themselves quite literally, as your child turns to food as a source of comfort.

3) Example: One of my favorite sayings is that “kids will do 80% of what you do right, but 100% of what you do wrong.” If you don’t eat healthy when they aren’t ‘re not likely to do so. If you don’t exercise, they will resist it also. Leading by example is one of the best methods of gently nudging the reluctant child in the right direction.

In case you’re thinking that there is too much fuss over this issue, let me point out what someone in the upper ranks of the military mentioned a short time ago. Childhood obesity is becoming a national security risk. More and more of our young people are rejected by the military because they are not healthy enough to endure it.…

No Picture
General Article

EMDR – Breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Treating Adult Victims of Childhood Abuse

EMDR – Breaking the Cycle of Abuse – Treating Adult Victims of Childhood Abuse

As children, we are innocent. We have no power and are therefore, unable to protect ourselves. We look to our caregivers to nurture, care for, guide and teach us about the world. Unfortunately, due to their own issues and problems, many parents and caregivers are adequate custodians but they are not always able to provide all the best parenting. Then there are those parents who are abusive to their children or are unable to protect their children from abuse.

In any case, most of us come out of childhood with some hurts, but other children experience more than hurts. They are left with deep wounds and scars that affect their ability to trust, relate, engage and function in the adult world. Verbal abuse, neglect, physical abuse, emotional/mental abuse and sexual abuse come in many different forms, and these assaults on the child may result in adults who experience symptoms of depression and anxiety, or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

The extent, the frequency, the severity, and the longevity of the abuse all affect how and to what extent an individual may be affected by childhood abuse. The stress of living with, denying and trying to overcome causes different reactions in different people.

In his book, “When the Body Says No”, Dr. Gabor Mate draws on a wide range of scientific research, to illuminate the interplay between the body’s emotional, nervous, hormonal and immune systems. He shows how people whose lives are marked by suppressed emotions and excessive, unacknowledged stress, especially the buried stresses we all carry from our early childhoods, can become physically and mentally ill. Dr. Mat explains the importance of assessing and treating not only the body but the mind.

This mind/body connection is essential to EMDR treatment and especially the treatment of early childhood traumas such as physical and sexual abuse. EMDR essentially “targets” childhood traumas and disturbing events, and uses all the five senses to “activate” and reprocess the disturbing and traumatic thoughts, feelings, body sensations and memories.

Although it is sometimes difficult to comprehend how our present-day problems and issues are rooted in our childhood hurts, my experience has been that the connections begin to present themselves during the therapy. With EMDR, there is a connecting of the dots, so to speak, and sometimes the “capturing” of those hidden stresses. Once these hidden stresses are remembered, they can be processed and released. This allows for a natural “letting go” process to occur. Once we begin this healing of childhood wounds, there is rapid emotional and psychological growth, acceptance and peace of mind.

If more adults would take the time to deal with and resolve their own childhood traumas, more children would grow into their full potential… and fewer parents would have painful regrets.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a form of psychotherapy that was developed to resolve symptoms resulting from disturbing and unresolved life experiences. It uses a structured approach to address past, present, and future aspects of disturbing memories.

The theory underlying EMDR treatment is that it works by helping the sufferer process distressing memories more fully which reduces the distress. It is an integrative therapy, synthesizing elements of many traditional psychological orientations, such as psycho-dynamic, cognitive behavioral, experiential, physiological, and interpersonal therapies.…

No Picture
General Article

Obesity: A Real Health Concern That We Need To Consider

Obesity: A Real Health Concern That We Need To Consider

How many times have you heard somebody say complacently, “you know that I cannot help being fat, because it is in the genes!” as he tucks in a huge platter full of french fries and fried chicken, washed down with beer. Well, obesity is definitely a real health concern that we need to consider right now. Obesity is an epidemic which can be controlled. Some people are under the impression that just because their parents were fat and they are fat, they are going to gain more weight even if they eat a healthy diet.

So the excuse that you are genetically predisposed to obesity and that is why, you have full leeway to eat junk, because what is bred in the bone is going to come out in the flesh or spirit, is nonsense. There is absolutely no reason why your child should be considered obese when you can control this health condition and state with a little bit of responsible action on your part.

Firstly, parents with obese children need to take the responsibility of that particular state on themselves. They cannot act like ostriches and say defensively, “well, I have been feeding him a healthy diet four times a day. He is allowed to eat whatever he wants, and he is getting his proteins and carbohydrates from chicken and potatoes, is not he? What more do you expect from me?”

Well, one expects more, a lot more, especially if the child has grown all obese due to the negligence of the parents. Yes, negligence. Feeding a child because he needs fattening up to show your love and affection for him and not making certain about what you are feeding him is the easiest way in which you can destroy a state of good health. Grandparents, unfortunately have a tendency of doing that because they consider their grandchildren not well-nourished enough! A child need spoiling is another excuse which they are going to use, to feed children fatty foods, foods high in sugar content, and other such food items, which you definitely cannot count in the healthy food category.

So remember that proper nutrition and a proper diet along with an active lifestyle is going to keep your child fit and healthy, instead of making it look like an obese porcupine. A fat child is not cute; any mental attitude which says that a well covered child is healthy and strong needs to be changed immediately. In the same manner, the idea that he is going to lose his puppy fat when he grows up and children look good if they are chubby needs to be reconsidered right now.

If a child grows up to be obese, there is a chance that he is going to be an obese adult. He is also going to suffer from a number of diseases like diabetes, stomach problems, blood pressure problems, hypertension, and heart problems. He is definitely not going to thank you for feeding him indiscriminately when he was a child and thus being the direct cause of such health problems. So obesity is a real health concern which we need to consider and tackle right away!…

No Picture
General Article

There Will Be A Mess, One Way Or The Other!

There Will Be A Mess, One Way Or The Other!

Covered in sand the children ran to greet their guests as they heard the scrunch of tyres in their driveway.

As the mother stepped from the car she was horrified,

“How on earth do you stand the mess! We could never have a sandpit. I loathe the stuff and Tony would never cope with it in the house.”

Her children stood, gazing with longing eyes at the sand and were too overwhelmed to utter a word.

The hostess invited them inside where she had set up a table for the children to enjoy a time of painting and gluing. Smocks were to hand for all. While her children plunged in, the younger guests held back and didn’t move.

“They really don’t like to get their hands dirty, so if you don’t mind, my children can just watch yours paint,” the visitor proffered.

“They probably take after me. I was never allowed in the kitchen as a child and have always had a housekeeper,” she added.

The ensuing conversation between the adults revealed that, ‘the children’ were being taken to many doctors for a variety of suspected conditions. None were ever found. It appeared that the prevailing parenting regime in their household was, ‘not to make mess.’

The outcomes between the two families were quite astonishing. In the creative household the children learnt to ski, water ski, swim, have leadership roles and academic careers. They had a zest for life and armed with fertile imaginations were wonderful parents encouraging their own children to garden, explore and live! The siblings meet regularly and the more the merrier.

In the, ‘no mess’ family, one child takes his brood to every conceivable therapist, while the other chose not to have children because of the mess they make. The siblings rarely see each other because of their variance about children. The grandparents are miserable that family get-togethers do not take place.

When the above story was related to me, it seemed that, no matter what, a mess had been made or at least, the full potential of the characters involved had not been realised.

The way we choose to live our lives can affect many generations. I think I’d take the risk and plunge into the pool of possibilities rather than throw out a life line!…