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Family Tips for Saving Money

Living In Your Father’s Shadow

For men, living in your father’s shadow can be one of the most soul destructive positions to be in. It will strip your will and the joy out of your life. It places you in a no-win situation. Imagine being Donald Trump Junior; how can you ever outdo Donald Trump? Are you going to be able to make more money? Be more famous? Or be more controversial? For some sons the choice is to go the opposite direction. They become alcoholics and drug abusers to get out from under the shadow.
Men live under a double-edged sword, one of love and competition. On one side we have our deep need to be loved by our father and on the other side we have our internal competition to outdo our father; to have more and/or be more than our father. The problem is no matter which side of the sword we choose we eventually get cut by the other side.
One of the things we fail to realize is that every generation has the same problem, the same issue. So the question is what to do and how to survive. The first step is to honor our fathers. They gave us life. They gave us a direction. The second step is to figure out if the direction that they gave us is the one we wish to proceed on.
It is my belief that the best way to get out from our fathers shadow is to step away from it, so that we can create our own shadow in the bright sunlight of life. Men have a bone deep need to create something on our own; to achieve something. We judge each other by our actions, and it doesn’t matter if we decide to step away from our father’s shadow, but remain in the same business, we need to create something of our own. If we fail to do that, we end up turning our anger and frustration inward. The more that we turn our emotions inward, the more we have a tendency to lash out at the world around us.
To do this we have to let go of the need to compete on our father’s level. Not because we can’t do it, but because no matter what we do or achieve, we cannot win. We are connected biologically and spiritually to our father, and the more that we try to get away from that fact the more that we end up running around in circles. Remember there is a huge difference between honoring or respecting your father for being a father and actually liking your father as a person. Your father loved you the best that he could. He may not have been able to show it in a way that was healthy or even sane. It was only the best that your father, an imperfect man, could show you his love; even if that meant walking out on you, or abusing you.
So appreciate the path your father took. Appreciate the size and scope of his shadow. Then step away from it. Find a place in your life that is yours truly and completely; a place of your creation, of your vision, where you can take action to build what you choose, and more importantly how you choose to build it.
You have to find your own life in order to make your own shadow.…

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Family and Children

Celebrating Father’s Day – Lessons From Dad Are Important!

I love that we celebrate fathers passed and present. I lost my dad more than 20 years ago yet I think of him and cherish with gratitude the life lessons he taught me. Some lessons I learned long after he passed. Why? Because I wasn’t wise enough in my younger years to get the lesson. Reflection is good. Think about your dad, what he represents, what he stands for, what he taught you by his actions, his words and how he showed up each day in your home.
Here are 6 things dad’s can do that will leave a lasting and positive impact on the lives of their children:
1. Teach your children the importance of play. Turn off the TV. Spend time with your kids having fun. Play evokes fun and laughter, which have enormous benefits. Play not only makes us feel good, it’s good for us because it brings balance to all components of the immune system. Studies show that play is at the core of creativity and innovation. A success skill for life. Play shapes the brain, making your children more adaptable and smarter. Play and laughter are the joyful threads that run through a family’s life creating some of the very best memories that bind you together. There is nothing like rekindling those fun and happy cherished memories that make us feel good as time rolls on.
2. Feed your kids with good news, good books, positive people, and positive activities. It affects their mind, their happiness and how they view the world – friendly and happy or hostile and pessimistic. Research shows that happy people have better outcomes in life than pessimists. You can help to enrich and nourish their thoughts and dreams into life by sharing positive experiences of life.
3. Your words are powerful and effect young minds. Be at your best by giving away all the words of encouragement, acknowledgement and motivation that you can at every opportunity. Speaking positive, good words breathes a new sense of life, light, and happiness into your children, as well as creating a deeper sense of your love for them.
4. Speak with optimism. When you are optimistic you create a sense that the world is a friendly place conspiring at every corner to help you. It helps create resilience. You see the best in everything and everyone. You’re children will pick up on your vibe and learn a valuable skill for life. Teach them that “every cloud has a silver lining” so that when adversity, setbacks, failures, and hardship happen, they can turn them into something positive by finding greater meaning in life from them. Optimism gives your children the motivation to continue to persist to find solutions even in the bleakest of situations. Optimism has a way of creating a ripple effect of positive and good energy. Research shows that optimists tend to succeed above others in life and are physically healthier, more productive and do better at work, school and in sports.
5. Act out with gratitude for the smallest of things. It’s a way of cultivating an attitude of appreciation. It teaches your children to learn to count their blessings not other peoples which mass media focuses on, depleting young minds so they feel that they or what they have is not enough. This is not true. Only the practice of gratitude can shift this mindset. Too many walk around sabotaging themselves by believing they are not enough because they never learnt this skill. Teach them to value what they have including what most people take for granted, for example their legs that gets them to and from school and teach them to appreciate everything that others do for them.
6. Teach your children forgiveness. Unforgiveness can be crippling. It is a burden in the mind and heart. Forgiveness is about freeing yourself. Teach your children to free themselves from the hurt and time and energy it takes away from their life. Teach them to learn the lesson, the gift in every situation, for example, if someone presented with a quality that hurt him or her, get him or her to see that the lesson is not to take on that quality in their own life, to learn to do and be better. Forgive the person, learn the lesson, let it go and be free.
So dads strengthen your children for life’s journey ahead, deepen the love between you and leave a great inheritance to your children by teaching them valuable life lessons just like my dad did. Happy Father’s Day!…