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Emotions, Family & Business

Thinking about starting a business? Well before you do it, make sure you have a conversation with your family and explain to them what you’re looking to do. This is especially important if a spouse or other family member is going to provide financial support while you work to get the business up and running.
Some of the steps you want to take to get them involved include:
• Going over the business plan • Involving them with the actual business planning• Having an uninterrupted conversation explaining your plans
Here’s the reason why you want to get them involved. In operating the business you’ll need emotionally and psychologically support. If they aren’t fully on board with the idea, that’s another battle you’ll have to fight.
When you talk with new or existing business owners, they’ll all tell you that it is an emotional process starting and running a business. In many cases they’re risking time and money on an idea. A scary proposition when they’re not sure how it’ll turn out. Also, they and only other people who have the same business truly understand what’s involved.
As a financial advisor some of the business owners I’ve talked with include programmers, story book writers, lawyers and commercial cleaners. The common thread with all of them is that it’s tough on them but they wouldn’t have it any other way. They knew when they opened their doors they had to compete. They also knew that sales would be tough. However, when they started to actually run the business they got to see how tough it was.
Why? Sales on a daily basis can be physically and emotionally draining. Not ever sales pitch generates a sale. To deal with that and the idea that a family member is not supportive can be a lot for a business owner to deal with.
That potentially negative sales energy can affect short, medium and long range planning for the business. Maybe even its overall ‘s what it can affect:
• Sales presentation• Interaction with business partners• Family functions
There may be some salesmanship involved with getting family on board. Keep in mind that they love you. Also understand that for many people starting a business is a scary thing and they can’t imagine it. So because they care about you, they don’t want to see you have any potential hardship.
Here are a few suggestions on how to get your family on board with the business:
• Have them ask how they can help• Have them be able to explain your business• Avoid non supporters• Tell them not to ask how the business is doing expecting to hear the worst• Work out a schedule for life and work
Starting a business is tough enough but not having the emotional and psychological support of family and even friends can make it tougher. Do the best that you can to get them on board. If you can’t, try to minimize the effect it has on your business and family relationship.…

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5 Tips for A Happy Marriage

I have been blessed to grow up in a happy family. My parents are now married for over 40 years. When I got married, I determined to ensure that I give my children the same gift that my parents gave me. I believe that one of the best gift you can give your child, is a happy and healthy couples today quickly rush to the divorce court, without ever seriously working for the success of their marriage. Marriage like everything else, requires great care and patience. It’s like a garden, you have to work on it every day, patiently removing the weeds, planting good seeds, watering and nourishing it. How is it, that we can tend our garden with so much care, but allow weeds to over run our most cherished possessions – our home.
Here are 5 tips that will help to nourish and bring fulfillment to your marriage:
1. TRUST: You must learn to trust your spouse. I found this especially difficult when I newly got married. You see, my wife is really very beautiful, and am quite jealous, so I kept bugging her every time I saw her with another man. Finally I had to learn to trust her or ruin our happiness. As a direct consequence, her own trust in me, also increased.
2. TOLERANCE: You must learn to tolerate. There are bound to be differences in your opinions, behavior, and general conduct. You must not insist that everything must be seen through your eyes. Always have a formula for conflict resolution, and believe me, you will have many conflicts.
3. FORGIVENESS: There is a concept I practice, for lack of a proper name, I will call it ” Advance forgiveness”, When I meet a person that I like, I give him/her an “advance forgiveness”. What this means, is that I believe that one day, this person must offend me in one way or another. So I make up my mind to forgive, even before I have been offended. The best person to give advance forgiveness, is your spouse. Make up your mind to forgive, even before offence comes, because, you will be offended, and you will be hurt. FORGIVE.
4. CARING: Every body knows that one should care for his/her spouse, but how many people actually care? We are too busy with our work, our kids, our Facebook friends, that we actually forget our spouse. We even care more for our boss, than we do for our spouse. Think of your spouse for a change.
5. TIME-OUT: We always talk about quality time, but what we really need to do, is just spend time with our loved ones. Go for Vacations, picnics, travel to Africa, visit that cave or valley nearby. There is something magical about such time-outs, it has a way of revitalizing your relationship.
So, go back and build your home. Wish you luck.…

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Parents, How to Move From Burnout to Bliss

After coaching several moms this week I felt the need to write this article. There are still too many people – both moms and dads, working too hard and having very little fun in their lives. Stress is huge for parents and they are finding that things in their personal lives are just piling up; they feel like, “How am I supposed to deal with all this AND be a good parent? I have no patience or energy left!”
Around 10 years ago I felt like I was falling apart. I was having amazing success with my students and their families, was receiving huge accolades from all of my administrators as well as school boards, and was hearing that parents were going to take their kids out of the school if their children wouldn’t be in Mrs. Kurt’s class. However, in the evenings and on weekends, I wasn’t experiencing this kind of success.
Most Friday nights, I would flop down on the sofa out of complete exhaustion and call out to my hubby to ask what type of take out we should order in. After eating I would either fall asleep leaving my husband to “enjoy” his Friday night alone or would end up arguing with him about something silly. On Saturdays, I would either break out in hives or my lips would swell up to triple their size. On a couple of occasions, the whole right side of my body went numb.
One night, my husband said, “This is enough! You have to figure out a way to change things and fix this.” Luckily, my personality is such that I always look for a solution to a problem.
I was fortunate that my husband put his foot down but in many families, both mom AND dad are stressed to the limit and are of little support to one another; they “just try and make do” and “get by”.
Today, I coach moms and dads on how to use my Life Circle™ Technique. This is the tool I developed for myself after my hubby put his foot down. It literally changed my life and in turn, my husband’s life. He saw such a difference in me that HE wanted to use the Life Circle™ too!
Although this tool can’t be taught in an article as short as this, some of the philosophies behind its success can be. Here’s how to start shifting yourself from burnout to bliss.
1. Slow down, stop taking things on because you think you “should”, just STOP! No more volunteering for things that you KNOW will stress you out or going to events that you KNOW you really don’t want to, or taking your kids to 3 or 4 after-school activities, just stop.
2. Be gentle on yourself – if you make your husband and child smile once a day, you’ve done your job
3. Ask for help – babysitting, cleaning, dinners
4. Get to bed! 10pm seems to be the ticket to having an evening and still getting enough rest.
5. Try no TV during the weekdays! You’ll be amazed at how you will fill up the time. Reading, talking to hubby over a glass of wine or cup of tea, organizing drawers, changing light bulbs… You won’t feel resentful because there is nothing else to do!
6. Play soothing or classical music in the house and burn calming aromatherapy oils such as lavender and peppermint.
When many stressful events occur at the same time, I’ve found that it’s a wake up call. If you constantly get sick or have things going wrong all the time, or often have unexpected situations arise, let that be your wake up call that, as my husband said, “Things need to change”. Start by applying the rules above and begin to see that life CAN be calm and blissful.…

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A Strategy to Transform Your Stepfamily in 30 Days

Blended and step families have more than their share of challenges; to stepparents and stepchildren alike, it seems that conflict and negativity are built in. What if I told you that I have a magic formula guaranteed to transform your family in 30 days to experiencing greater harmony and happiness? Well, I do! It’s called appreciation, and when practiced regularly and properly, it can work miracles.
There is a fairly new branch in the field of psychology called Positive Psychology. After more than a century of focus on the effects of trauma and negative experiences on personality and behavior, Positive Psychology turns it all around and instead focuses on what is right. There have now been scores of studies showing the profound effects of positive interactions on productivity, health and happiness. And on cooperation, I might add – a quality in high demand for stepfamilies!
Dr. Don Clifton, who has been dubbed the “father of Positive Psychology” had an extremely simple and powerful model for working with appreciation and recognition, which is described in his book “How Full is Your Bucket?”. He uses a metaphor that’s easy to visualize: each of us has an invisible bucket inside. When the bucket is full (of positive feelings), we feel great; we’re happy, generous, productive and feel connected. When the bucket is empty, we feel awful – our energy is sapped, productivity is lowered and we feel isolated from others. Each of us also has a dipper – we can use the dipper to dip out from others’ buckets (leaving us both in a more negative state), or to dip into others’ buckets, filling them with more positivity. When we fill others’ buckets, a funny thing happens – it fills our own bucket to overflowing.
This may seem overly simplistic, and it is basic – yet powerful. There are hundreds of turning points in a single day; even in mundane situations there is generally a positive or negative charge. And it’s all cumulative: the more negative interactions we have, the more our happiness is eroded. The more positive interactions, the greater our well-being. All of us need recognition, and we don’t get enough. Dr. Gottman, famous for his ability to predict marital success on the basis of the ratio of positive to negative interactions, has found that the “magic” ratio is 5 to 1. Married couples that have at or near that level of positive to negative interactions are highly likely to succeed – when the ratio goes toward 1 to 1, the chances of divorce skyrocket.
Think about your interactions with your spouse, your children, and stepchildren. We are often so focused on “fixing what’s wrong” that our attention, and conversations, tend to be fixated on the negative (“you’re making us late!”, “you didn’t pick up your towel”, “why weren’t you back home when you said you’d be?”, etc. etc. etc.) The world we live in is already a pretty negative place; each of us, including our children, tend to get “beat up” regularly. So why add to the demoralization, when we have a much better chance of getting our children’s cooperation by letting them know we care about them, and believe in them? Think of how you’d feel if someone were watching over you, waiting for you do do something wrong and then make note of it.
Whatever we focus on grows: when we begin to take notice instead of what’s right (even small, insignificant behaviors – “thanks for helping your sister with her backpack”, “I was happy to see you started your homework without being reminded”, “it makes me happy to see you smiling”, etc.) we start to get more positive behaviors. Both positivity and negativity are very contagious.
Here are a few tips for you to begin a practice of appreciation that will begin to change your family dramatically. I highly suggest keeping track of your efforts for 30 days, the time it takes to develop a new habit – it’s the regularity that produces miraculous results.
You must have a plan to make it a reality!
1. Focus on any positive behavior you see occurring, and express your appreciation in a specific way. Focus on progress, not perfection.
2. Be quick to notice small accomplishments, and focus on effort rather than outcome.
Focus on each child’s strengths and refrain from giving recognition that compares them to one another (the last thing you want to increase in a stepfamily is rivalry!)
3. Notice the first thing that comes out of your mouth: is it positive or negative? Are you providing a welcoming environment for the members of your family?
Prevent “bucket-dipping”. Ask yourself throughout the day: am I adding to or taking from that person’s bucket? Use a PAUSE button when you catch yourself “dipping”- and find something to …

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How to Make the Most of Your Family Vacations

Most of the time when you plan a family vacation, you are looking for a way for your family to get together and just enjoy themselves without the worries of every day life. Take the time to learn some of the various different ways that you can go about planning a family vacation that is going to make the most of your time together as a family. There are so many different things pulling families in every direction that it is often difficult to plan a vacation that will satisfy the whole family. Taking a few different steps will help you to make the most of it, for everyone involved.
While families can consist of young children, parents, teenagers, young married adults, grandchildren – the list goes on- you will see that it is important to find a way to bring them all together comfortably. This can reduce stress for everyone in the family. Take the time to find a time for your family vacation that will be good for everyone who plans to attend. There are a lot of different things that go on, between other vacations, school, sports, work, and holidays that pull families apart. Make sure that you talk to people in your family to find a time that will be just as convenient for one person as it is for another. Making sure that everyone is happy with the time that is set is the first way to make sure that you have a happy family vacation.
Plan to do some fun things while you are on vacation. There are definitely some things that cater to children more than adults, but the adults can often have just as much fun as the kids when they visit these places. Remember everyone when you are planning the places that you will visit on your trip. You should take the time to plan a few different things so that everyone is sure to do something that they will enjoy while on vacation. A vacation should be enjoyed by everyone involved.
Another way to ensure that you are able to make the most of your family vacation is by ensuring that you do not spend a ton of money on your trip. Financial hardships can often cause a lot of stress. If you take the time to find some of the best vacations at the most affordable rates, everyone will remain happy and stress free because they do not have to worry about the money that is being spent. There are many ways to find vacation deals that will meet the needs of any budget, be sure to find the one that is best for you and your family.
When you are planning the next family vacation, remember to take these things into consideration. If you do this, then you are sure to have the happiest and most productive family vacation you have ever had before. This will make sure that everyone enjoys the time that is spent together as a family.…

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3 Simple Tips to Make Family Time a Good Time in Your Hectic Life

Any working person’s life can become extremely hectic at times. The common suspects are: a busy schedule, loads of work, as well as faithfully keeping the promise to never put off until tomorrow any work that you can do today. As a consequence, you may be totally satisfied with your rapid career advancements. Yet, this imbalance is very bad for your family life, as it can make you lose the precious bond with your spouse and children.
If you suspect that you are losing touch with your family, you need to do your best to avoid making the matters worse. Here are three tips and tricks that could help you start spending more quality time with your family, even if you have an extremely hectic life:
1. Plan your day or week in advance. Scheduling your day or even a week in advance could take as little as 15-30 minutes, but it could truly make a difference for your family. Thus, you could start bringing your “family relationship improvement plan” to life without sacrificing what needs to be done at work.
2. Turn off your cell phone every now and then. When it comes to spending time with your family, a cell phone is one of the most disruptive devices. If you have scheduled a family outing, make sure that your cell phone will not disrupt it. Consider setting a new voice message that will state that you are currently unavailable.
3. Try to achieve a 50/50 work-family balance. Being a success at work and “failing at family” cannot do anyone any good. Try to be a success at both, home and at work.
Keep reminding yourself that your spouse and children are your first priority. Time spent with your family is invaluable, while time lost cannot be compensated.
Relationships take an effort to build, and yet it’s so easy to damage these bonds by constantly being busy, distant and unavailable. Being continuously distant can lead to a family relationship cool-down, which may be hard to warm up again.…

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Simple Tips And Tricks For Parenting Better

It takes a lot to be a parent, especially, when you have a few kids, a job and other demands. But if you can learn to prioritize and enjoy the fun along the way, then you should do fine. This article can help you to meet some of those demands as a parent.

The most important thing to remember while disciplining your children is consistency. Parenting during the terrible-two’s can be challenging, for both little one and adult. At this stage children like to push the limits of what is and is not allowed. Make sure that you set clear boundaries and are consistent with your time-outs so children know what is expected of them.

To encourage breastfeeding in an infant, offer your child plenty of skin to skin contact. Skin to skin contact makes a young infant feel content. It also allows them to smell Mom’s milk and so, want to breastfeed more. The feeling of bonding and closeness that skin to skin contact facilitates is also great for Mom, as it reduces stress.

Use clothes or items from the mother to wrap a bottle in if the baby is having trouble getting used to drinking from it. The smell of mom in the clothing will help calm the baby because he will associate it with his mother, thus making him more likely to give it a try.

If you need to use the restroom, and your baby is upset at being placed in their carrier, turn on the bathroom fan and sink. Both of these noises mimic the sound of your heartbeat, which your baby was consistently soothed by in the womb. This technique should give you a few quiet minutes to take care of yourself.

Close Family

As a parent one should make sure to set time aside specifically for the family. This is important for maintaining a happy and close family, because with our busy lives it is easy to let other outside activities such as sports and work get in the way.

Good Relationship

As unfortunate an event it may be, divorces happen all of the time. In order for you, a divorced parent, to hold a good relationship with your college aged and older children you must never get them in the middle of your divorce. This will push them away for you and your ex-spouse.

Mom And Baby

Look into slings and baby carriers designed for twins. They do exist, and they are fabulous. There is a learning curve for getting two babies into a carrier, but the benefits to mom and baby are enormous. Wearing your babies will allow you to get things done with your hands free, and the twins get the emotional connection and intellectual stimulation from being right with you.

As recognized in the beginning of this article, it really can take a lot to be a parent, maybe sometimes, more than you may think you have. But somehow, you make it through and are ready for the demands of the next day. By using the advice in this article, you can, indeed, make it through yet another day.…