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The Button Pushers – They Live With Us

I vividly remember a week I was feeling very irritable. Normally, I’m a fairly patient person, but that week I felt very edgy. I could have blamed the kids, my husband, hormones, work, the guy who cut me off on the highway or a plethora of other things. It seemed the more stress I felt, the less tolerant I was, especially with my family. Why is it we allow our family to upset us the most? Have you ever felt like they know exactly what buttons to push to make us furious? That week the affirmation I adopted was “Control emotions and have patience!”
That Sunday morning I was teaching 9th Grade Confirmation Class. I left the house early with my laptop, lesson tote, snack for the class and the much needed travel cup of coffee. There were three tables set up in the area for my class. As the kids came in and sat at the tables I realized that where I left my lesson plans was very crowded, so I moved to the end of the next table. Just then I saw a blurry image of a cup swish by me and smash into the wall divider. The lid popped off as the cup fell to the floor and black coffee was strewn everywhere. It was not only all over the floor but splattered on my beige canvas tote, laptop bag and coat.
My first thought was “Oh I needed that coffee today!” Yet somehow, I didn’t react. I can’t explain why. Just moments before patience was not an option for the day. The student who spilled my coffee obviously felt horrible and frazzled. She ran frantically to get paper towels yelling “I’m so very sorry!” Other students nervously said they would get paper towels too. For a brief moment I felt as though they were trying to get away from me. I calmly said “spills happen” and thanked them for helping to clean up the mess. When I lifted my beige coffee speckled canvas tote the leaning laptop case fell “splat” into the puddle of coffee. It was almost comical how it happened. What amazed me the most is I did not feel reactive or upset.
I was actually grateful that the coffee missed hitting me! Just five seconds earlier and I wouldn’t have been so fortunate. It was an accident. It wasn’t intentional. My student didn’t target me for this act. She actually felt worse than I did and was very embarrassed. In a very brief reminiscent moment I thought how painfully self-conscious teens can be. I thought, what is the kindest thing I could do in this situation? My answer was be patient. It would take just as much time and effort to clean up the mess if I yelled, got angry and made the young girl feel worse in front of her peers. Actually, it might have taken longer. Had I yelled, they wouldn’t have returned so quickly with the paper towels! No one would have offered to help clean up the mess. As it happened I didn’t need to clean it up at all and it was done quickly.
That class was one of the best that year. I don’t remember the lesson from the book being particularly interesting. However, the kids were attentive, everyone presented a portion of the lesson and there was an unusual sense of peace in that class of teens. Uncanny!
The student who spilled was grateful that I was understanding. She said “My Mom wouldn’t have been so nice. She would have yelled and told me I should have been more careful.” At that moment it occurred to me, and I said to her “I probably wouldn’t have been so kind to my kids, either.” We laughed about that comment and they went home.
Thinking back to what had happened it was not very responsible of me to leave my cup of coffee in front of her. If my teenage son had made such a mess I would not have been as kind and patient as I was to her. That truth broke my heart. Showing understanding and patience turned an ugly situation into a positive life lesson. It made a difference for her. I wasn’t able to make as much of a difference for my children as I did for my student. What caused me to lead by example for them and not for the ones I loved the most? We expect so much from our family. We want them to be the best for themselves and us. We want them to always know what we want and need before we tell them, and are disappointed when they fall short.
Parents everywhere want the same things for their children. We want them to become responsible, confident, and …

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10 Habits of Highly Successful Mothers

“Success” is an ambiguous term to me. How does one measure success? How does one define it? Is success how much money we have in our bank account? Is it how much we have accomplished in our professional life? Perhaps success is the amount of education we earned? Or maybe success is how bright our future paths are…Being first and foremost a mother (in addition to the others duties of my life), the concept of success is one I measure (most of the time), by the happiness and achievements of my children and husband, rather than myself. Looking at success through this lens can be a slippery slope; what if, perhaps, one’s child goes through a naughty phase- does this make the mother unsuccessful? I think not.
But, when your primary energy, time and commitment are targeted toward the health and well-being of those around you, measuring yourself to their achievement is inevitable. I carefully study successful people. Women who are able to achieve motherly success (i.e. their children are super in school, sports, arts and wonderfully behaved), in addition to professional success and marital success are truly captivating to me. I wonder what they think when they meet me, “This woman is does she keep asking me questions….” Well, I am trying to learn learn learn. I love to listen to the little gold nuggets that people do not even know they possess. Little do they know that I grab each little nugget and keep it to review later…(Is that creepy?)
These are the top 10 Little Gold Nuggets of Success which I have carefully extracted from women all over the country:
1. Efficiency is key
There are only 24 hours in the day for all of us. So how is it that some people simply get more done than others? They don’t waste time doing things that someone else can do. When it’s appropriate and the budget allows for it, bring in the reinforcements to do your mundane tasks to give you more time. Successful women schedule carefully and say no to anything that doesn’t work in the schedule.
2. Plan Long-term
Successful women anticipate the needs of the children, their husbands, their jobs, and the school picnic. The most successful women I know have their calendars mapped out for the year.
3. Don’t sweat the drama
There is one thing that women from all generations and all parts of the world share, and that is drama. Sensitivity to everything that is said, goes on, and transpires will ruin even the most focused woman. Do not get involved in nonsense. (I even go so far as to avoid news during the workday so I am not distracted by natural disaster.)
4. Keep the children on the forefront
You can be wildly successful with your career, but if you come home to a crying child because you were the only mother who didn’t come for the Mother’s Day Music Show you have had it. Staying on top of your child’s basic needs and even the most trivial event is important. Schedule time with your child if you must. Create a day a week that is for your children and only them. Carve out time every day to spend real one-on-one time with them. Being in the same room doesn’t count!
5. Stay connected to your husband
If your marriage fails, your children’s life will fall apart. Period. End of story. I’m not suggesting that you can’t piece it back together again but it will take time and healing. Prevent it by staying focused on being connected to your spouse.
6. Don’t overspend, overeat, overdrink
Keep a check on health, on your spending, on your social life. Inventory it weekly. If life spirals out of control in one of these areas, your entire life will suffer.
7. Commit
When your child is on a basketball team and wants to stay home to play with his friends, tell him no and remind him of his commitment to his team. He can play with his friends when he gets home. Committing and staying committed is a key strength to anyone who is successful at anything. Success takes hard work, which can only be achieved through commitment.
8. Say No
People who say yes to everything create an impossible scenario for success. Do not volunteer to be the homeroom mom if you are working 60 hours a week; you will be unsuccessful at work, home and school. People who recognize when they are maxed out are always appreciated for their gracious “no I’m sorry I am over committed” statement. It’s a gift to everyone around you when you say no, and bow out.
9. Baby Steps
Every major achievement is preceded by a series of very small achievements. You cannot achieve success without …

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Ten Ways to Feel More Fulfilled and Build a Healthy Happy Family

Number one: Do not ever imagine that possessions can fulfill you. You will find that it is your family and your friends who make you happy. Therefore spend more time with them rather than working to buy material things.
Number two: Ask yourself the questions whether you live to work, or work to live? Are you working for a living or are you doing the work you love, for life? Try to do what you love and to love what you do as well.
Number three: Be grateful for what you have, instead of chasing gratification. Chances are you have much more than the average man on the street. It is time you learn to appreciate what you have.
Number four: Get rid of all the clutter. Clutter makes you feel stressed, and it encroaches on your personal space. Spring clean your house, the extra space and neat environment will help you to relax.
Number five: Get yourself a hobby. To do something that you love is of the greatest ways to find fulfillment. Think about something that interests you, and try to pursue that. Whether it is reading, writing, gardening or a creative hobby. It will help you become for centered.
Number six: Do your best at everything you do. By working hard at everything you do. You will feel so much happier with what you have achieved. It feels so much better to give your all, even if you are not successful, than to fail because you just did not even try hard enough.
Number seven: Be open and accepting of the opportunities that come your way, instead of ignoring them or trying to avoid them. Challenge yourself by spotting opportunities and grasping them with both hands. Not only will you probably improve your lot in life, but you will also grow tremendously as an individual.
Number eight: Treat the people around you as you would treat yourself, or as you would have them treat you. This tends to make much better company of you, and people will are prone to be more open and honest with you if you treat them well. Just think how amazing things are when you get along well with other people. Then why do you not try this all the time then?
Number nine: Make communication a priority. There are so many arguments that start because of a simple misunderstanding. Be open and honest with those around you. Greater understanding will leave you more at peace with those around you especially those you love.
Number ten: Adopt a positive motto and then live by it. With everything you do, ask yourself whether it is bringing you closer to your goal, or is it driving you further away from it?
Then always remember that a feeling of fulfillment is not something you acquire overnight, you have to work at it every day. And once it is attained, it will not leave you. Keep moving forward eyes ahead, and leave your past where it belongs, firmly behind you.…

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Better Parenting Means Better Children Learn More Here

You want to make sure that you are raising your children properly and doing all that you can when it comes to parenting. This article will go over numerous helpful tips and tricks to assist you on your way. These have been hand picked and should prove to be highly beneficial.

When buying a car seat for your child, it is important that you do your research first. This is because so many car seats have been recalled for safety reasons and you want to make sure your child is not put in one of these. You can look online for car seat recalls.

It is crucial that you get your child interested in vegetables as soon as they are able to eat them. By not giving your child vegetables at this time of their life, they are not going to want to eat them when they get older, which prevents them from getting proper nutrients and vitamins.

Develop patience when dealing with a breastfeed baby who is trying to learn how to use a bottle. Breastfeeding comes naturally to them and bottle feeding doesn’t. Make it a gradual process for the baby so that they are ready to transition when you are. It won’t happen overnight so stay calm and just keep trying.

In order to have a proper developing toddler, it is important that they get many hours of social interaction. A great idea to get this done is for them to enter a preschool. This way, they can meet other children their age and build their knowledge basis at the same time.

Do not put work above your child. Of course it is necessary to work in order to support yourself and your family, but if you are never around, your child is going to feel like you are a stranger, which will make them not want to trust you or be close to you.

Close Family

As a parent one should make sure to set time aside specifically for the family. This is important for maintaining a happy and close family, because with our busy lives it is easy to let other outside activities such as sports and work get in the way.

Good Relationship

As unfortunate an event it may be, divorces happen all of the time. In order for you, a divorced parent, to hold a good relationship with your college aged and older children you must never get them in the middle of your divorce. This will push them away for you and your ex-spouse.

Mom And Baby

Look into slings and baby carriers designed for twins. They do exist, and they are fabulous. There is a learning curve for getting two babies into a carrier, but the benefits to mom and baby are enormous. Wearing your babies will allow you to get things done with your hands free, and the twins get the emotional connection and intellectual stimulation from being right with you.

In conclusion, it is important to you that you have as good as a background as possible when it comes to parenting. Hopefully the information provided in this article will help you immensely when it comes to raising your own children. Use the advice provided and apply it to your own unique situation.…

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You Can Have An Enjoyable Pregnancy

Pregnancy is one of the most wonderful things a woman experiences in her lifetime, but also the most mysterious. A woman is normally pregnant 9 months (40 weeks). In those 9 months, wonderful and not so wonderful things happen, as well as confusing things that are hard to explain. In this article, we will discuss what should happen month-by-month, week-by-week, and one trimester after the next. Hopefully with the following valuable information, you will be quite prepared for what is to come in your pregnancy.

Start tracking your monthly menstrual cycle. This way you will know when you ovulate. This can help you find when the best time is to try to conceive a baby. This will also help when you become pregnant because you will be better able to determine a due date for your baby.

Don’t feel bad about needing to take care of yourself. You are growing a small person inside of you and you deserve to take a break! Eat more than you usually would, because you will need those extra pounds. Take a break after dinner and let your husband do the dishes. Its those small things that will add up and make you feel much better.

Are you in your first trimester and experiencing an upset stomach? Try eating several small meals instead of three big ones. If your stomach is never empty, it decreases the chances of it becoming upset. Try to keep everything you eat light as well as fresh. Eat lots of lean meats, fruits, and vegetables.

Your nutrition now that you are pregnant, is more important than ever. Not only are you needing more energy and strength just to get through the day, but your baby also needs lots of vitamins and minerals to develop properly. Make sure you eat several solid meals each day and work in items from each major food group.

Being sleepy in the first trimester is very normal. Your energy level will probably plummet as that baby is growing in leaps and bounds. Make sure that you get lots of extra rest. Go to bed early and if you can change your schedule, wake up later. Don’t be afraid to take a nap in the middle of the day either if you need it.

Baby-Sitting

It is important to learn how to take care of a newborn. Baby-sitting other people’s toddlers and newborns is a great way to learn this experience. Caring for other people’s newborns not only helps make some money on the side, but also gives you the life skills you need to take care of your own child.

Mom And Baby

Exercising in pregnancy is good for mom and baby. The benefits include decreased risk for gestational diabetes, less complaints of constipation and back pain and a quicker recovery from birth for mom. Stop exercising and see your doctor if you have signs, such as shortness of breath, dizziness, fluid leaking, uterine contractions or vaginal bleeding.

All in all, pregnancy is an amazing, not so amazing, and mysterious experience. Women need to be prepared for pregnancy and know what to expect from it. Women also need to know how their baby is developing throughout the weeks of their pregnancy. With our month-by-month, week-by-week, and trimester-by-trimester breakdown of all the happenings of pregnancy, you will be enriched with all you need to know about your pregnancy!…

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Pregnancy Advice That Every Woman Should Read

Pregnancy is one of the most meaningful, life changing moments any woman will go through. Understandably, the thought of pregnancy can be daunting to some. With the proper advice and guidance, having a healthy and relaxed pregnancy can be easier than it might seem. This article contains great advice for anyone interested in learning more about pregnancy.

If you receive an invitation to a social event and do not feel like going, feel free to turn it down. Your family and friends are going to understand that when you’re pregnant, you have some special needs. You may be shocked by how much you need to go to the bathroom, how often you get tired and how nauseated you feel. Do not push your body to its limits if it does not have to be.

Avoiding stress while pregnant is imperative. Stress can cause a lot of problems in pregnancy, including for the baby. Some babies, who experience excessive stress in the womb, wind up being born prematurely.

Write a journal about your experiences through pregnancy! This will give you a place to write down the mundane and the sublime. Write down new things you notice and things that worry you! This will be a great tool for remembering things to ask your doctor about and it is something you can pass down to your child or their significant other as they prepare for your grandchildren.

Do not change cat litter if you think you are pregnant. Avoid the cat litter box due to the danger of contracting toxoplasmosis. Cats are a host for the toxoplasmosis life cycle, and if the infection is passed to the fetus, the consequences in pregnant women can lead to miscarriage, birth abnormalities and stillbirth.

Check into hiring a doula for your birth experiences and for the period right after. Doulas are mothers’ helpers who are there to provide non-medical support during the labor process and the post partum period. Having a doula will help you to have a shorter and more satisfying birth experience.

Baby-Sitting

It is important to learn how to take care of a newborn. Baby-sitting other people’s toddlers and newborns is a great way to learn this experience. Caring for other people’s newborns not only helps make some money on the side, but also gives you the life skills you need to take care of your own child.

Mom And Baby

Exercising in pregnancy is good for mom and baby. The benefits include decreased risk for gestational diabetes, less complaints of constipation and back pain and a quicker recovery from birth for mom. Stop exercising and see your doctor if you have signs, such as shortness of breath, dizziness, fluid leaking, uterine contractions or vaginal bleeding.

As was discussed in this article, pregnancy is a momentous, life altering experience for any woman. Although the responsibility of pregnancy might make some people nervous, following the proper advice can make pregnancy a rewarding experience for an expecting mother. Use this article’s advice to navigate your way through the exciting journey of pregnancy.…