It would be lovely to think we could have an argument free family but whether we admit it or not, every loving and happy family has arguments and disagreements. We can even have the kind of arguments that no one even remembers what it was all about.
However it is important to remember in a loving family, the members understand the importance of creating a sort of safety zone where no one ends up getting hurt. You might be asking yourself is that truly possible? And the answer is absolutely yes.
Before looking at ways to develop this in your own family it is important to understand that loving families understand they can argue about something and it not affect their relationships. In fact they realise it can be a way for them to learn something new about each other. They are never threatened by these disagreements.
Below are six ways you can help your family to create a safety zone so no one ends up getting hurt.
1. Physical violence is never permitted. There are no exceptions to this rule. Not only would you never hurt a member of your family physically, you would never destroy or break their property either.
2. Insults and name calling are never permitted. We all have those soft places, those easy targets. But members of a loving family will never go there. These areas are absolute no-go zone.
3. Understand arguing is never about winning. Whenever we have this need to prove ourselves right, it tears a family apart more and more each time. If your child or any other member of your family is upset, take the time to find out why. Working together towards a solution, that is best for EVERY member of the family, forms solid and happy foundations.
4. See an argument as a sign there is something that needs to be worked out in your family unit. At the end of the day we are all different and it is those differences that makes us so special. Learn to appreciate those differences and look for ways to find a solution for everyone.
5. Blaming each other is never allowed. If someone is upset or hurt everyone in that family unit feels it. Blaming the person who is angry will not solve the situation. Something has happened for that person to be angry. By looking at resolving the problem, rather than blaming a family member, it will build stronger connections.
6. Always say sorry. Our children learn their habits and patterns of behaviour from us, their parents. It is a great idea for parents to be the first to apologise. And never ever, ever go to bed without making amends. Even as parents we aren’t perfect, so if you have made a mistake apologise to your children. They will appreciate it. Ideally parents shouldn’t argue in front of their children, but if they do, be sure your children see you apologise.
By learning and teaching your children how to disagree in a way that empowers each member of the family you will see your children be more confident in themselves. Most importantly it will help re-enforce a great self-value and self-belief.
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