Befriending the Defiant Tween

Children aged ten to twelve, also known as tweens, often become rebellious and defiant. Of course, as the parent, you obviously become their arch rival and enemy in life.
Instead of being their adversary, examine ways to become your child’s friend. Build trust with him or her, it won’t just help out now, but it will certainly help out during the dreaded teenage years – building a strong family relationship that gets respect from your child.
They want to feel trusted and respected. Don’t nag him or her to clean his or her room or complete his or her homework. Instead, explain to them that you trust them and you know they are old enough to complete their own responsibilities.
Tweens are desperate for their own independence, and you should try to provide it to them. This is an important time to let your tween make his or her own decision, and allow them to learn from their mistakes – it’s the best method of learning after all.
Always try to keep your voice down. If your tween got a failing grade in a particular subject, don’t yell. Instead, explain the importance of good grades and how studying harder will ensure he obtains higher grades.
Sometimes it might be hard, but try to take an interest in you child’s activities. For example, every kid has a favorite show, so watch it with him or her and discuss it with him or her during the commercial. This can be a fun activity for the two of you to do, and the two of you will feel a connection.
It is important to build their confidence and self-esteem. Always talk your child up, and avoid using negative phrases like “I’ll explain when you’re older.”
Raising your child is extremely difficult. You may feel confused and lost at times, but it’s important to press on. Don’t watch your child age, instead, age with him or her and build a relationship that will never break.