I Saved My Marriage Remembering My Parents Divorce

I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom seemed to be in a big hurry, she was crying and throwing things into the trunk of the car. I asked her what was happening but all she said to me was, hurry up, get your little sister and get in, we’re leaving. Where are we going? I asked, but got no answer, she was not in the mood to talk. As I was getting my sister in the car, she saw that Mom was crying, so she started to cry as well. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I knew it wasn’t good, and I was afraid.
As we were backing out of the driveway, I saw Dad come to Moms window crying, begging her to please stay, please don’t go, and saying that he was very, very sorry. Mom just rolled up the window and ignored him. I had never seen my Dad cry before and the site of that happening terrified me. Dads don’t cry, even when they’re hurt, so I knew that something horrible had happened but I had no way of understanding what it was.
I didn’t know it at the time but my life changed that day. My parents ended up getting divorced and things like having a mother and a father around all the time never happened again. My sister and I went to live with mom, I don’t really know what Dad did, I don’t remember seeing him come around very often until some years later. Things were tough but we survived and managed to get by, but I know it was difficult for mom raising two children alone. I know she did the best she could but I always wished, and still do, that things could have been different.
Fast-forward twenty plus years, a marriage, and two young children later. I guess I hadn’t learned a damn thing because I found myself in the same position I remember my dad being in, as I flashed back to that fateful day. I was begging my wife to please stay, please don’t end our marriage, can we please try to make it work. And just like it was with my mom, my pleas just fell on deaf ears, she would have none of it. My wife and I were on our way towards divorce, and I felt helpless in trying to stop it.
I suppose I did learn something from my parent’s situation, and that was how I felt as a child going through a divorce. How much I missed my dad, how much I wished we were a family again. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, let alone my own children. I didn’t want them to feel what I had felt, and how hard it was. There had to be something I could do, but what? I didn’t know anything about how to approach my predicament but I sure as hell was going to try.
It took everything I could muster; I stumbled many times and sometimes even thought it couldn’t be done. But I had to continue; I loved her and our kids so much that I had to make it work. I had to start all over again. I had to take her back to the time before we knew each other. I had to meet her again for the first time. I had to show her that I cared for her and wanted to be friends again. I asked her out on dates and courted her again. I showed her that I was 100% committed to her and our family and that she could trust and rely on me again. This process of starting over took time, but as the trust and caring between us grew we were drawn to each other again. The passion that we lost for each other reappeared, and we fell in love again. Yes it took time, but it was well worth it. You see, we are now a happy family again; dad, mom, two beautiful children and we plan on keeping it that way.

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