No pain, no gain! Those words were drummed into me by my father so many times, I long ago stopped counting up the reasons why he said what he said. Despite the untruth of them, after a while, they started to sink in. Do anything long enough, and it will become your habit, even the phrases you think with, and that influence the way you feel about your life. For the first forty years of my life, his words determined how I felt, what I did, and how I reacted to circumstances, but not in the way he would have …